My Journey

Monday, October 31, 2011


I am 1/2 way to my goal weight of 130!! 41 pounds lost.....41 to go!

So.... my best friend is coming into town this weekend (which is good cause she is coming the same day my babies and Jake fly out!), and we are going to DC to see one of our closest friend's in a play. Sarah, the friend in DC, invited us to a "fancy black tie formal" (this is what she texted me) party after the show. Yikes!! I don't do fancy late night parties anymore! I am a boring mommy of two that thinks a fancy Fri night is finding a babysitter and going to Target with hubby kid- free! Needless to say I am kinda dreading having to wear heels all night. 4 years ago this would have been my thing. Oh, how times change!

Now that I have lost all this weight, I of course have NOTHING to wear, and I don't want to have to buy something for my half way to goal body.  I browsed TJ MAXX for a bit, and found a dress I loved! Sadly it only came in a small.... but I thought.... I am going to try this on.... and it was really tight, but I did get it over my body (yay me!) and it actually didn't look all that bad. I wouldn't have been able to sit, but if I had to stand all night, I might have to been able to pull it off. I will see what else I could find.

I certainly do love being able to see something I like and instead of saying "that would look great on my sister" (size 2) I can say "I bet that would look great on me!" (size 12/14)

I am getting pretty excited to reach my next goal of 150lbs! Thanks to all of you for all the support along the way. You guys are really my go to when I need some advice, whether is be weight loss land, or reality! It's nice. I like you. a. lot.

Jovani Long Sleeve Sequin...
the dress I wanted, but in black! Love that it's modest AND sexy!!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Weekly Weigh In: Week 18 ( usual)

Weight: 171.8   Loss:  1.2 lbs

Well after drinking hardly enough water, no veggies, maybe 2 servings of fruit, lots of frosting and cake from all my cupcake making, carbs galore, goin to zumba once,  I CAN NOT BELIEVE my scale. How in the world am I losing weight? I knew I was putting my diet aside for a few weeks with everything going on at the moment and have been prepared to see a weight gain. I might just be losing all the muscle I had been building for my slacking in exercise. Maybe I am seriously dehydrated.

I have been crazy stressed out, and skipping meals here and there without even realizing, so maybe that is why too. I deliver my last big order of cupcakes this afternoon....I can't wait!! The cupcake all turned out great though. Below are pics for one of my orders.

mummy cake pops

cat cake pops

I was excited to reach my 40lb goal and got a new watch! It fits great and isn't as huge as the other manly one I have been sporting!

Well.... woke up to snow this morning. Besides having to deliver cupcakes early this morning, I am enjoying being back in my sweat pants and hoodie (both way too big now). Our kids sleep in now (till 9am at least which is just maical!) Jake made us french toast, Logan is napping now, and Zoey is glued to Nick Jr. So happy to be with all my fav people this morning. I feel relaxed and good. Just going to enjoy our last Sat together in Balt.

ok. Jake is selling the pick up truck. Gotta help him make an invoice!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Losing My Mind, Losing Myself?

I shouldn't have taken all the cupcakes orders and cake pop orders that I did this week. I have 7 days to get Jake and the kids on a plane to Utah, I have 2 days before my family comes, I have 3 days before Jake's dad comes, and only 1 more day to have my family to myself in our home for the last time. This is the place I brought my newborns home. I darn near cried yesterday as someone came to buy our couch. Our first couch that we got as an excited married couple to be. We lived on that couch in our first 1 bedroom apartment...dinner, movie watching, crafting, cuddling... It was hard to see it go.

I wish I could just enjoy this next day, but I busied myself up. Big Mistake! I can't even wrap my head around everything I need to do. I should be wrapping myself around my kids and my husband.

Instead, Jake and I got into an arguement last night. I was upset. I wasn't really mad at him. I am just scared of everything that is changing around me. He wants me to be a stay at home and to be satisfied with that as my life calling. I also want to stay at home with my kids, but I don't want to give up everything else that fufills me. Yes.... I think being a mother is my #1 job. I want to raise my kids and teach them about God, about good, about choices. But, I don't know if it's the New Yorker or the type A personality, or the bit of italian blood in me, but last night it sounded like Jake was forbiding me to find a teaching job out in Utah, and I was freaking out about it. I felt like I was losing myself. I have worked my whole life, and not only just worked, but consumed my time in multiple things. I LOVE working because it fufills me. I love being around my students, around other adult, accomplishing tasks, and using my mind on a daily basis. I am so scared I am going to be unhappy and miserable making peanut butter and jelly everyday and humming Barney songs.  Here in Baltimore I am a mom, a teacher, a wedding planner, cupcake maker, event coordinator for my church. I feel like I am so respected on so many levels. I will lose most of that when I move.

I know I will love being with my kids. I love those little buggers. But what will I do for myself? I know I will figure it out, but right now I am just emotional about it. All of it. Losing my kids and husband for 3 months, then losing my job and my friends.

Uhhh. I just need a good cry and to write this out and then I need to move on with it........

Monday, October 24, 2011

4 Month Bandiversary!

I wanted sooo bad to have lost 40lbs at my 4 month mark but this morning it showed I was shy 1 lb. Bummer.... but then again.... Holy Amazing 4 months!

I feel so great. I am not dragging my feet to get changed in the morning, or immediately ripping off my clothes after work to get into sweats.

I even notice guys flirting with me even.  Trust me....they got nothing on my hubby!

I have been so absent to the blogland lately. The cupcake orders have been flooding in.....prob not the best timing with Jake and the babies leaving next Thurs. The wedding consumed my life for a good week and now I am just trying to recover while still being insanely busy! My parents are coming in this week, and Jake's dad flies in this Sunday. We are trying to sell a lot of things, trying to get some renters in for a few months to help with moving costs. It's CRAZY over here people!!

me tonight
This morning I woke up in a complete panic to find out it was 7:45am. I am supposed to be at school at 7:30am, and I live 30 min away. And so was the start of my day! Life is nuts, but things with my kids and hubby are great.... except for the coxsackie virus Zoey got while we were in NY. A nice high fever of 103 that meant being super grumpy for days. Zoey was pretty grumpy too. :o) She would get up 5 or 6 times a night and would need to be rocked back to sleep. Ug! Killer for sure! But gosh I love my little family and the little life we have built here.

Oh, I still have yet to exercise, and I haven't really been paying much attention to my food. Last time I went grocery shopping was over a month ago. We are living off our entertainment book lately, which means lots of fast food. Not proud of it, but I realize these last few weeks and these next few weeks will be so rare. I will have lots of time to re-focus once I am a lonely lady. I keep losing weight. I guess I never stop moving, and my band won't let me eat a lot. Thank goodness because it might have gotten ugly with such restriction!

I really hope you guys are doing great. I think of you guys. I am always wondering how you are. I will get caught up soon.

Off to watch Castle with Jake and hoping to get some.......

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Weekly Weigh In: Week 17 (Wedding Week)

Weight: 173.0 lbs     Loss 2lbs

Wow! What a week! I just woke up to say a quick hi. I had my big wedding I was planning yesterday. It was a perfect day. The Bride was so happy with everything, and I had a blast. I will post more soon. 

Can't believe I managed to lose some weight this week. I haven't exercised in so long. I miss it a lot.

My band is pretty tight, and haven't been able to eat much of anything. I had ONE bite of chicken last night at the wedding, and then I was standing over the bushes for 15 min trying to throw it up (as the toasts were going on......people....the toasts took AN HOUR!) It never came up but after some good burps and a some fun sliming I could at least get on with my life.

I am so looking forward to spending some time with my babies and hubby today! Pumpkin picking!!! Two more week before they leave. I can't even wrap my head around it!

Hope you all are doing great!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Weekly Weigh In: Week 16

                                                                     Weight: 175.0     Loss: .6lbs

 The scale read 173.6, 174.2, 175.0 in a 10 min period. So, I just took the highest. It was too early to really figure it out. On my period, so this loss is GREAT cause I know it will continue to drop in the next few days!!


You know you like it!

And done.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Ten Things Thursday

1. Got up early for once and decided to stop by Wal-mart on the way to school. I am the person that always has the road rage on the way to school because I constantly am running 5-8 min late! So I am super proud of myself for not only being on time, but early enough that I can stop by Wal-Mart AND be on time. Nope. Get out to my car, and the door won't open. Left my keys in the car. The door is unlocked but handle won't work and of course all the other doors are locked. So, I was really late to school cause by the time I got a hold of someone at the school, the hall monitor had to come and pick me up! Dumb!!

2. It was raining during this fiasco and my nicely straightened hair turned into poodle hair.

3. Finally got me's been like 2 months. Prob will have a gain for tomorrow but whatev...I am kinda happy to have my period. I always liked the idea of my body getting rid of crap it doesn't need, so it is a few days of yucky I can handle. Hubby on the other hand prob would sleep on couch if he could. Creeps him out.

4. My size 16 jeggings I bought in Aug are WAY TO BIG now. I went and bought a new pair in size 13. Sweet!

5. Zoey turns 2 this weekend! Can't wait to celebrate her bday with my family up in NY. It will be the last time they see my kiddies for a while :o(

6. My fill appointment went much better yesterday. For those that don't know, my surgeon's office has a bunch of grumpy pants working there. No "Way to go!" or anything even close during my 1st two appts. I wrote an email with a complaint, but didn't leave my name. I was curious to how it was going to go yesterday. The grumpy pants nurse weighed me and I swear gave me the most forced robotic, "wow. you. lost. 12. pounds. since. your. last. appointment. that. is. great. Haha. You could tell it's not easy for him. I wanted to laugh. At least he tried.

7. I haven't been so hot with the working out. I've got so much going on with work, cupcakes and my big wedding next week...oh and the move..... that working out will have to take a back seat until after the wedding. It's easy to fall out of the habit of working out. That bugs me.

8. I like muscle milk.

9. I would love to donate some of my things that don't fit me anymore to you girls, but couldn't afford all the shipping. Can you all just come to my house? That would be cool.

10. I am so thankful for the lapband for helping make the steps to become a person I enjoy seeing in the mirror again! I feel amazing!!

Monday, October 10, 2011

The Big Secret

.... we haven't even told some of our closest friends, so feel special ladies! doesn't really effect any of you, well maybe except Robin who I was hoping would come and visit me in Baltimore and go to Fleming's together....


Last Wed Jake accepted a job offer in Utah. He starts in 3ish weeks. (I know, not that exciting for the blog world)

So..... this is a big deal. I mean its over 2,000 miles away. We have little kids, a  4 bedroom house to pack and  sell, 3 cars, and my career will switch from teacher to full time mommy (at the moment).

(Did I mention I also have 4 cupcake orders and my huge wedding I'm planning, a trip to NY, Zoey's bday and my parents coming down all in the next 3 weeks as well?)

I'm a bit.....overwhelmed, but it honestly feels so right.

I really feel good about letting it be Jake's time to take the lead and provide for his family. He has really be struggling to find a job out here and this bank in Utah loves him and have offered him the job multiple times. This time we just realized that our savings account is vanishing quickly with our ever increasing mortgage and utility bills, my school district prob wouldn't be giving teachers raises for a long time, and if we ever wanted baby #3 we are going to need some family around to help us (Jake's fam is all out there). So, it just clicked and we are taking a leap of faith.

I actually will be finishing out the semester here in Baltimore and will be in charge of packing, cleaning, selling the house and cars. Jake and the babies will go and live with his parents until I can wrap things up out here. I will be making trips back and forth to see my babies, skyping DAILY and crying my eyes out most night...but in the end I feel like this is going to be great for our family.

More to come I'm sure as we figure it out! But off to finish some cake pops and then drop into bed after a killer Zumba class by the awesome-est guy Zumba instructor tonight! It was intense!!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Miss Monroe: Something refreshing!

" Hmmmm...this controversial issue is a hot topic these days, but back in the fifties it was about being fit and healthy and happy. About being a better person, NOT about striving to be a size double zero 00! Some say that she was a size 12, some say 16! Let me show you some evidence which might reveal what size Marilyn really was. Enjoy lovlies!
Star Her measurements were recorded by her dressmaker as 36-23-37 and sometimes fluctuated between that and 36-24-37. If you think about that it's not a size 0! But, that is a waist size that is genetically tiny, especially with those curves! "
If you want to read more, I found this info at the website below!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Anniversary Inn: A fun overnighter!

Check out the awesome room we stayed in at Anniversary Inn when we were visiting Logan, UT. They really know how to make their guest feel special. I thought the price ($199) was great for the room, but then we got all these awesome things. They even delivered us the tastiest hot dogs, freshly popped popcorn, and our choice of candy whenever we wanted it. (true drive in fashion). We got to pick a few movies to watch of the projector screen. We watched Pelican Brief (neither of us had seen it) and the Terminal. Breakfast was delivered to our room the next morning and was DIVINE!
Yes, that IS a truck in our room! In fact, that is our bed! The whole room was based around a Drive In theme, which something that we love.

Cheesecake and Water!

Flamless candles (we got to exchange for a real candle at check out), plus a bath fizz

Biggest, best jetted tub! You can't see the TV in the corner. Wish I could of taken a pic of Jake in the bath watching the Raven's game drinking sparkling cider. He was in heaven.

Sparkling cider because apparently no one would drink champagne!

Sodas chillin in an ice filled Coke Tub!

Amazing ortho-gel bed in the bed of the truck!

Our own private concession stand!!

The walls painted like a sunset

Weekly Weigh In: Week 15

                                               Weight: 175.6     Loss: 2.8 lbs

I knowwwwwwww! I am an terrible blogger and comments and blog reader. My life has been a bit of a whirlwind since going and coming back from our trip out west, getting a trillion cupcake orders, getting ready for my big wedding in a few weeks and a huge gigantic thing I can't talk about.....yet. Somehow I still managed to loose weight.

I was pretty sure I was going to be coming back from our trip with my tail between my legs cause let's just put it out there, it was a rare moment when my hand was not stuffing my face with all my favorite restaurants I don't get to eat I ate at ALL of them. Bad Bad Bad. But I didn't even gain a single pound. Now how does that make sense?! It doesn't. Smaller portions...yes.... but it still isn't fair. Yes it worked in my favor, but you know when I am eating like a perfect lapbander and working out 5 days a week to barely loose a pound I will prob go crazy over this!

From what I read it seems like you all had an amazing time at BOOBS. You all looked gorgeous in your pictures! I hope next year to join the fun.

This weekend I will try to post some pictures from the trip, plus pics of the room Jake and I stayed in for our surprise overnighter! Big vintage pick up truck, jetted tub, hotdogs, projector screen are words to describe our amazing night!

Tonight I will sit my butt down in front of my computers and comment comment comment because I miss you guys and I need to let you know it!

Happy Friday! (Today everyone at work is supposed to wear pink to support breast cancer awareness. Guess what super girly girly doesn't have an ounce of pink in her closet!? I'm lame!)

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Weekly Weigh In: Week 14 - A little late (Cute Pics!)

                                                        Weight: 178.4 lbs    Loss: .2 lbs

I was so busy out of my mind that 1 only worked out once last week. It was one of those weeks where I had to choose between seeing my kids that day and working out. Working out will just never be as important as being with my kids! Not working out paired with not focusing on my eating equals not much weight loss. I didn't over eat, but I wasn't counting calories either.

Well you are all partying it up at Boobs I am in Utah visiting the In Laws. I know. Sounds like torture right, but I have lovely in laws thank goodness. Not that I could ever stay longer than 5 days, or live in the house next door to them (my issues, not theirs). I was seriously dreading this trip though. Flying 5 hours on the plane with my 2 super active kidos is enough is send me into cardiac arrest just thinking about it. I was sure I wasn't going to be alive by the time we touched town in Salt Lake City, or them for that matter. The flight was full. Jake and I couldn't even sit in the same row because they have regulation against 2 lap babies in 1 row. So..we sat closest to the window and he sat directly behind me. I had Logan, he had Zoey. I packed 2 beautifully done diaper bags filled with snacks, lunch and bottles and binkies and books and toys and diapers, wipes and changes of clothes, dvd players, movies... Well... they did a great job on the plane. I got Logan to sleep by holding him so tight so he couldn't move and just had to give in to sleep. Same with Zoey. Jake and I traded the kids back and forth. A little crying, a little pee incident on Jake's shirt, but overall a B+. I guess we will keep them!

We have been having a really nice time here. I got up at 6am and went for a walk on Fri and this morning I went to Zumba. I walked out of the class at first cause it wasn't even close to the high intensity Zumba I was used to and was bored and the instructor was pretty obnoxious. I found a tread mill, ran/walked 10 min and realized I sure didn't wanna be doing that either, so I went  back into Zumba and it ended up being a pretty good workout regardless of the overly happy bouncy boob instructor. 

I have been eating at all my fav restaurants here (there are too many to count)  but have been eating small portions and I've been doing a muscle milk for breakfast. I weighed myself at the gym and it was 179 and I was happy with that. I haven't denied myself any treats (candy corn, homemade cinn rolls, sweet pork at Coasta Vida, gourmet burger at JCW's.) I don't feel guilty. I know I will get back to get into gear and continue kicking that scales butt!!

Tomorrow we head up to Logan where I lived 5 years that I went to Utah State Unversity. I am giddy with excitement to step on campus and be flooded with the wonderful memories I made there! There are like 5 restaurants there I LOVE and having to choose only 1 is gonna suck! are some family photo's we took yesterday. There are more to come.