My Journey

Friday, August 26, 2011

Weekly Weigh In: Week 9- Blame it On the Natural Disasters?

                                                       Weight: 187.2    Loss: .6lb

I've been eating like crap the last 2 days. I am having these INTENSE chocolate cravings, and all these natural disasters are just pushing me to eat bad foods!! ;o) Ug! I just need my Zumba class so I can be in my happy place tomorrow (before natural disaster #3 of the week hits in the evening...I am considering myself #2 and the earthquake while I was in Wal-Mart is #1 of course)

My weight has fluctuated between 186.4 and 189.8 this week. I feel overwhelmed with my first week of school and so behind in my house work, bills, and blogging. I have been eating out most of my meals the past 3 days, just from a lack of having food in the house (ordered my groceries online and had them delivered today!) and having to work late hours at work (back to school night). Today was a professional development day and I went to lunch with a friend and then we stopped by Starry Nights Bakery in Westminster, MD  to try one of their cupcakes since they are going to be on Cupcake Wars on Sunday. Since I might lose power from the hurricane, someone watch it and let me know if they win! The cupcake was pretty good, but the appearance looked amateur. Whatev. I am excited for them! I hope it brings them lots of business even though all of Baltimore will most likely be powerless! Anyway...back to my not great eating...... It was not great. Now moving on....

I'm a little nervous for the hurricane. Our house is up on a hill which is good, but the huge dead oak tree 2x's taller than my house, sitting 10 feet away from my living room gives me a big of anxiety. My little Zoey sleeps upstairs and tomorrow I am going to move her down here with us, or move all of us to the basement. I don't think it's hitting Baltimore as bad as NY, but you just never know. We have a food storage and have been pretty prepared. I will really hate not having power for several days which is what is being predicted. Just send a prayer our way and up the east coast if you can!

Xhilaration Juniors Short Sleeve Dress - Navy/Yellow FloralNow for something good.... I got some super cute clothes at Target this week. I had a $5 off jeans mobile coupon and got the skinny jeans jeggings for $13! (size 16) I got a flowey long peasant shirt with it and it looks and feels awesome. ($3 mobile coupon) I also got this dress! (I am short so it is a lot longer on me)I love it. It is super flattering and young and hip. I am going to wear it with my brown knee high boots! Perfect for school. Cute and comfy! I also got  a black blazer that is the perfect form fitting cut. (on clearance $15!) Thanks mom for contributing to the poor teacher fund!! clothes are shoes have free shipping and 20% off if you spend $75 online!

Look at this cute rain jacket and boots! Wish I had this for the hurricane tomorrow!!

Mossimo Supply Co. Feather Weight Raincoat - Yellow/White Polka Dot Print

Sorry I haven't been commenting much. I will prob be crazy 1 more week and then will be back in the groove of things (that is only if this tree doesn't take out half our house!) I have been reading as much as possible!

I am really going to focus in on my eating (no "my period is coming" excuses here!!) and try to lose 10 lbs before Sept 30th when we leave for Utah to see Jake's fam. (We are getting fam pics out there and I need to look as good as possible!!) It's a big goal, but here is to hard work!!

Thinking of you all.....always!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Cake

Today was my 1st day back at school and my principal's birthday and there was cake and.....I didn't have a single piece! Huge NSV! Remember.... I own a cupcake personal food guide pyramid (which doesn't exist anymore, check it out would have cake as its own food group. Cake is MY FOOD! So...this is a big deal!

Last June I would have had a piece and then gone back for another when the crowd dispersed. Now if I can only keep my hands out of the damn lucky charms I will be golden.

First day back was good. Typical. Sitting in meetings, working in my classroom, an earthquake, getting supplies at Walmart.... ya know...the usuals. :o)

No one really noticed my weight loss. No biggie. I have always been pretty good at hiding my weight (by not coming out of my classroom for the past year).

I did see one of my co-workers at my surgeons office when I got my last fill. Scary that my secret could be out of the bag, but after we talked, she isn't planning on telling anyone but her parents and immediate family. She is just in the beginning stages of getting approved. It will be nice to have someone at work to chat with and keep me away from the cake!!

Just got back from the gym. Trying to stay motivated to workout when I just want to be lazy. It might just be my TOM. I always use that as an excuse.... "oh I have to eat these lucky charms.... I'm gettin my period is 16 days" lol.

Night Blogland. I will get back on posting comments tomorrow. I am gonna go help Jakey Poo with some painting!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Shopping for FREE

Today I went to Target after Zumba to see what size jeans I am fitting into. I longingly browsed through the isles of beautiful dresses, and bohemian shirts and skinny jeans. They even had these straight legged denim overalls that I envisioned looking great on a super skinny tall girl.

I got a few pairs of size 16 jeans, different styles, to try on. One pair fit me with room to spare and the others I couldn't button. Go figure. I didn't buy them or anything for that matter because it feels strange spending money on clothes that I am hoping to have falling off of me in a few months.

As a young little family, living off just my teacher salary, we certainly can't afford for me to buy a new wardrobe with every 20 lbs I lose. It is a bummer because I want to show off my hard work for the start of the school year.

I came home feeling pretty frustrated....and then.... I went to my closet. I rarely look in my closet. It is packed with cute dresses and shirts and skirts and blazer that haven't fit me in ages and it's too upsetting to recognize how far I have journeyed from the "cute new teacher with style" I used to be.

Well... the "now older with 2 kids and stretch marks cute teacher with style" is going to be makin a come back this school year! I went shopping in my closet and  found myself slipping right into those cute dresses. Some I need to give a few more pounds, but wow....what a great day! I basically just got 8 new outfits for my first few weeks of school....for free!l Even some of my lingerie fits again, and I might even be typing this post in some of it. I can't wait to fit into the even cuter clothes I have hidden away in the basement. That's about 20 lbs away...maybe by Christmas?

Friday, August 19, 2011

Weekly Weigh In: Week 8

                                              Weight: 187.8    Loss: 3.4 lbs

3.4 lbs!!!! Holy Awesomeness! This is the biggest loss I've had aside from surgery week! I have to thank being sick for this. I haven't been able taste anything so my food choices have been really smart. This cold has been with me over a week now. I don't think I have ever had a cold this long and wonder if my mom was right and it is now a sinus infection. We will give it a few more days.

I was planning on working out 5 times this week, but am not sure if I am running myself into the ground by working out a lot. Do I need to just rest for a few days, or workout and let my cold just take it's course? Any suggestions?

I also got a fill yesterday. I saw a different surgeon. The good looking one, a total italian stallion (I am not sure if he really is italian). He was young, brown hair pulled back in a pony tail, chiseled features, accent (i think or maybe I am just envisioning that?) pink stripped shirt (too fancy looking for a dr office) I am pretty sure he must be on a romance novel somewhere.

Anyway. He did the fill, different than my dr. He was surprise I was "all smart" and knew about cc's and how much was in my band. I am surprised a lap band patient wouldn't know this?!  He didn't even care how the water went down afterward. Of course 24 hrs later I am still having hardly any restriction. I haven't tested it too much yet, but we went to a buffet for lunch cause it's Jake fav place in the world and I knew they had soups. I had soups, a bite of bread, some tender chicken, soft fruits. It all went down fine and I didn't even get full. BOO.

The dr also told me that I carried a lot of weight in my stomach area. Also BOO. He said my arms and legs were "skinny". Ha. So random to hear that word when you are still classified as obese! I am still worried I won't lose the weight in my stomach. I better get on my crunches!!!! pet peeve about the bariatric office I'm going to. They are all STONE FACED. You get weighed on the scale and the nurses don't even say..." Wow....congratulation you are doing a great job". In fact, they seem annoyed you are there, and not even the dr's say anything. I mean, I know they see it every day, but these surgeries are LIFE CHANGING, huge monumental aspects in a person's life. I haven't been obese forever, but some people have and losing weight is a huge hurdle they are taking on. We work hard for the weight we are losing and damn it if the dr who performed the surgery can't even be excited for you, they are in the wrong profession. You know what.... I think I am gonna write a letter!

Well... that's it for now. Be back later for some BYOC!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Exercise With Mommy...

...equals lollipops for the kiddies. Zoey was practically falling all over herself (not the most graceful kid I've ever seen) to get to the door to go for a walk. She didn't even wanna put her pants on, so diaper it was! I bring lollipops just in case they have meltdowns and I don't have to end my workout early. Pushing that double stroller up hills ladies is sure hard work. I love it!

I worked out twice today. I wasn't gonna go for the walk with the kids because I worked out this morning, walking hills around my neighborhood for 35 min, but after a cereal binge I felt like I better get a movin.

The cereal binge was stupid (yummy but stupid). I am getting a fill tomorrow and know I will be on liquids for a bit and then depending on the tightness of my band might not be able to eat cereal for a while so I felt justified in it. Also I stepped on the scale and saw a 188.8 lbs and I felt like..well....celebrating....with lucky charms. (slap on the forehead)

I didn't even have a fill scheduled, but I have absolutely NO RESTRICTION and to wait until Sept 14th was a bit risky. I have been proud of myself to be losing weight basically on my own, but have noticed my portion size creeping up. I came to a screeching hault on Saturday after JAke and I went to a hibatchi and had eaten about 2 cups of rice, chicken, veggies and shrimp and HAD to stop myself. Even Jake said, "aren't you supposed to be full?" I left the other 2 cups worth of food on my plate thank goodness.

The past 2 days I haven't been able to taste a thing (still sick) and so I barely ate anything cause why waste the calories?....hence the 188.8 today, which was gone shortly after the Lucky Charms (more like unlucky charms).

I really appreciate everyone being so accountable and honest lately. I need to be more like that. It helps me so much to see people are having real struggles and real victories. Jen and Robyn, thanks for your posts! I know you both are frustrated, but it makes you more human too.


1. Logan put himself to sleep on his own tonight! Amazing! (it's a NSV for mommyhood!)

2. My mom bought me a XL black and white gingham shirt dress like this one pictured and it hasn't ever fit, but I put it on yesterday and it did! I think 5 more lbs and I will wear it out of the house! (mine is cuter than this one though)

3. My butt is gone. Like is flat (which is both good and bad) My butt has always been massive. It was the first thing my mom noticed when she saw me last weekend. I noticed it as I was standing in my "getting really loose" underwear yesterday. (Jake isn't too thrilled with this NSV)

Monday, August 15, 2011

Thank You Secret Bandit!

I got my 1st secret bandit gift today! It is THE BEST to get a little surprise in the mail. It is exactly what I have needed to! Check out my cutie pie new pink water bottle. As you can see I filled it RIGHT AWAY! I didn't even clean it out, so if I stop posting I probably died from some pissed off employee who coated the bottle in poison.

I also got a bunch of goodies to put in my water bottle including Gotein which I am excited to try!

Thank you Secret Bandit! You are the best!!!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

This Week.....

I will be working out 5 times
Drinking at least 64 oz water a day
Limited my carbs big time
Getting 70g of protein a day
Tracking my food
Watching my sugar
and enjoying my last week of summer before I go back to school next week! Depressing!!

And as a result I hope to be at least 189 before I walk through those school doors on Tues 23rd.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Weekly Weigh In: Week 7

                                           Weight: 191.2 lbs  Loss: 1.8 lbs

I weighed in at 191.2 earlier this week and have been sitting there all week. Actually I was up to 193 again a few days ago, probably my punishment for having a pizzookie last Sunday when we had some friends over. What is a pizzookie you ask?? Feast your eyes on this...

 I shared it with Jake, but it still prob equaled 5 cookies and ice cream. So yummy. So wrong. No more pizzookies for me!!

I have prob been eating too many carbs and sugar this week. I just feel like I have been lagging. Next week I am going to need a fierce plan so I can get in the 180's before I go back to work on the 23rd. 

On Tues I went to Target and tried on a few pairs of size 16 jeans. All of them fit my legs and thighs, but I couldn't button them from my belly fat. It makes me nervous that I won't lose my gut after having 2 babies. Was anyone else nervous about this?

I did Zumba last Saturday and again on Monday (where there were about 120 people!) and then worked out Tuesday, but have been sitting pretty since then. I got sick last night. I am typing with a roll of toilet paper at my side.

And....yesterday I got some pretty bad sunburn. Not because I had the luxury of sitting and relaxing in the sun, but because I went tanning and forget that I am white, and 18 min is TOO LONG! Between the bad cold and the sunburn I feel like death. When can I go back to bed?

My parents are driving down from NY as we speak. Thank goodness they will be here to help me tonight with the babies while Jake works. 

I am determined to feel better by tomorrow so I can go to Zumba with my mom. She loves Zumba and I know she will l.o.v.e. my instructor. 

Oh...and I got my hair cut. Not in love with it, but it is a lot of weight off my shoulders...literally. I said 6 inches,  but it's more like 10 ( Why do they do that?!) and she thinned it out a bit, but it is still WAY too thick for the cut. Maybe next week I will take a picture when I'm not fuchsia!

Also.... excited to have some new followers! I love reading everyone's blog. You guys seriously pull me out of ruts and make me giggle!! Love it!! 

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Need A Laugh?

Jim Gaffigan is my favorite comedian! He talks a ton about food....prob one of the reasons I love him!! Watch these videos for a good laugh. They are THE BEST!


                                                                     HOT POCKETS

Friday, August 5, 2011

Weekly Weigh In: Week 6

Week 6
                              Weight: 193      Loss: 1.6 lbs

I was surprised to see the scale down to 193. All week long it was my TOM and never saw the scales in the 193's. I was at a training for 3 days this week where lunch and breakfast were catered, and there was A LOT of time just sitting. Some of my goods and bads for the week are:


~ My first & third day I didn't have a single danish, donut, or bagel during breakfast. I actually stopped and got myself a mini can of tuna salad with crackers and had that for breakfast instead.

~ They had cookies with lunch every day and I didn't have a single one. I actually took a bit of one to satisfy my craving and then threw it away. (I was on my period you realize how hard that is?!)

~ They  provided great healthy lunches each day (wraps, chicken stirfry, and chef salads) which was super helpful.

~ On chef salad day I took lettuce, tomatoes, fresh turkey, ham, and grilled chicken, and used 1/4 of the lite ranch dressing packet

~ I didn't have a single soda. I would have loved a diet coke to get me through the last 3 boring hours of each day!!

~ I drank a ton of water. What else is there to do when you are sitting for hours? I also went to the bathroom a at least once an hour. I don't think I have a bladder.

~ Jake worked every night this week, so I would get home and he would immediately leave, which going to the gym for me, but yesterday I got out that double stroller and pounded some pavement. It was the perfect night for a walk! Today I am heading going for a good walk and tomorrow is ZUMBA!

~ I made a friend! lol. And I am making her come to Zumba with me tomorrow!!


~ I forgot breakfast my second day and had 1/2 bagel with cream cheese. I enjoyed every second of it

~After lunch the 2nd day I  had a dinner roll with some butter. I also enjoyed every second of it.

~ I didn't work out at all Tues and Wed, and was sitting 8hr during each day of training. Made me feel super guilty.

~ I had a few too many dum dum lollipops that they were passing out.

~ I brought some chex mix with me one day and grazed the whole darn day long.

Anyway. You win some battles and lose some others. I am excited to make a healthy version of eggplant parm this week!! If enough people are interested I will write up the recipe.

Have a great weekend girlies!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

My Wedding Pics

Nothing motivates me more that seeing pictures of me when I was healthier weight! It gets me right back on track. Tonight I was leafing through some wedding pics and thought I would share some. I can't lie when I say I was so happy and so confidant at this point in my life! I really am going to work so hard to get back to that!  I would love to see your wedding pics people! Go dig em up and post em!
My Bridal Pic

My Wedding Day - Who is the creepy guy in the back stalking me?

Since we got married in Utah where Jake's Family is, we then had a big reception back in NY the next weekend. It was great cause I got technically 2 weddings!! and I got to wear my hair 2 different ways! lol
My gorgeous bridemaids
In NY before the Reception (our photographer flew to NY!)

This was such an amazing time in my hubby, new job, new life. I can't believe how much has changed in the past 4 years!! So many good things of course, but with those good things....a lot of extra pounds. You better believe that I will be putting this dress on again and taking some pictures for you all when I get to a size 10!

Monday, August 1, 2011

If You're Dying To Know More....

then read on.....

1. What is your occupation right now ?

High School Family and Consumer Science Teacher

2.What color are your socks right now? 

White, but they don't match. They never do. Who has time to find socks that match?! Drives Jake nuts!

3. What are you listening to right now? 

The Bachelorette on the TV behind me. Not my fav season. She picked JP? weird.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? 

Eating at the moment..... Healthy Choice meal

5. Can you drive a stick shift? 

Of course

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? 

My mom....we talk several times a day. 

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? 

Stole it!

8. How old are you today? 


9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? 

Competitive Dance, or Cheerleading, Gymnastics, Figure Skating...such a girl I know.

10. What is your favorite drink? 

No fav. I do love Coke with popcorn when I watch a movie, but I would never drink it otherwise.

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? 

Yep....early greys....uncool!

12. Favorite food? 

I'm a fat do I narrow this down? Baked Goods, that is as much narrowing as I could do!

13. What is the last movie you watched?

Jake and I watched a comedian on our streaming netflix last night.... Demetri Martin.

14. Favorite day of the year? 

Last day of school!

15. How do you vent anger? 

Crying, yelling, stomping around, cleaning

16. What was your favorite toy as a child? 


17. What is your favorite season? 

Spring and Fall.

18. Cherries or Blueberries? 


19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? 

not really 
20. Where is you favorite place to escape?

My bedroom!
21. Favorite TV Show?

I'm a reality TV girl. Love Bachelorette, Bachelor, and current Love in the Wild, Project Runway....any of them.

22. Living arrangements? 

Married, 2 little ones under 2, a hubby, a dog and a kitty.
23. When was the last time you cried? 

In Zumba on Saturday
24. What is on the floor of your closet? 

You guys are gonna love this..... Jake's change jar in which he put a coin in for every time we have sex and then counts up at the end of the year. Let's just say the number goes down every year (in my defense I was preg the past 2 years) and this year I am trying to make a comeback!! lol. (sometimes I also add a coin or 2 when he isn't looking)
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest?

My best friend Melissa. At her wedding I was her MOH and during my toast read a journal entry from when I was 7 that talked about going over to Melissa's, who "I didn't even like that much". I have everyone laughing.
26. What did you do last night? 

Had a family over that just moved into the area that goes to our church, gave kids a bath, me and Jake cuddled on the bed and watched netflix
27. What are you most afraid of?

Tornados...always have been. Have lots of nightmares about them!
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? 

Cheeseburger all the way

29. Favorite dog breed? 

I have a maltese, he isn't my fav some days! lol
30. Favorite day of the week? 

Saturday, duh

31. How many states have you lived in? 

NY, Utah, Maryland
32. Diamonds or pearls? 


33. What is your favorite flower? 

Rose or Hygrangea