Crying At Zumba....

Yup. You heard it correctly. I started crying today within the first 3 minutes of my 1st Zumba class. (Please let me be getting me period so I have an excuse for this absurd emotional outbreak!!!)  I was just soooo purely happy to be doing something so close to dance that tears starting streaming down my face and I had to hold back some soft sobs. I haven't dance in 2 years. This is coming from a girl whose whole life has revolved around dance and music. I just stopped once I got pregnant and after that I was "too big" to feel comfortable dancing. It felt soooo good to shake my booty!!! It sounds so corny, but I just felt at home.

The instructor was amazing! I drove 25 min to this class cause I could just tell she was gonna rock my world! The class was held at a roller rink and was a flat $5 drop in fee. There were about 70 people. I can tell that people LOVE this lady. She is young, hip and man can she shake it. I am going to have to work on my shaking. I can move, but I can't ghetto booty shake, but MAN AM I GONNA LEARN! (and JAke is gonna love me for it) The steps were easy but her Latin flair really inspired me. Having a hip hop background is very different from Latin, so this will challenge me to rock out each number like her!

Next week I am going recruit friends to come. I am going to try another instructor on Monday that is super close to my house. She is a ballroom teacher, so I feel their styles will be so different.

Ahhhh.... great day! And after I came down I jumped on the scale to a new low in the 193's! Ya! So naturally I needed Mexican food for dinner to complete this day.....healthy mexican that is!

Oh, and my heart rate monitor read 800 calories burned in that one class. Love love love.

BYOC

1. Sun or rain? Roses or tulips? Romantic movie or comedy?

RAIN RAIN RAIN! It is almost strange at how much I love a rainy day. I love it on my face, listening it to it fall on the house. It is soo relaxing. In college a boyfriend got a me rainstorm CD that me and my roomie would fall asleep to every night. Heaven! Rain in the summer after a hot humid day is what I call HOT rain, and it makes me pretty horny.
2. I've (Drazil) been sick lately and haven't eaten in two days - except for ice cream...which leads me to ask - what's your favorite ice cream flavor?

Cold Stone - Founder's Favorite (brownie, carmel, fudge, pecans) with cake batter ice cream. yummmmm.
3. Are you a door locker - in your house and car?

Growing up I don't even think my parents had a key to our house. I still don't think they have a key to the house. We left everything open, cars and all.. even the garage door at night. Now with my own house we lock up at night and for the most part. We keep things open when we are home or running small errands. 

4. In the spirit of my being sick and wanting to die - tell me your "go to remedies" for when you are sick?

Sleep. and this stuff......a MUST!!! Seriously. Go to walmart and buy it or order it online! I use it in the shower or bath and love it!! I use it when I am stressed too. It was a life saver during those 1st few weeks as a new mommy.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.

Blogland - my thoughts are with Jessica and Ronnie and Drazil and Leslie....all having a hard week with very different things, but I have been really thinking and rooting for all of them!

Real Life - This week was mostly based around the kids. We went to this great library with a kid size "town" including a library, grocery store, train, tree house. The love it and it's FREE! We hosted play group yesterday at our house with some of the families from our church. We did the sprinkler, and sandbox, and ice pops of course! Today we went to Friendly's cause Zoey asks for Ice Cream all day long. We gave Logan a waffer cone because at 7 months he demands he has the same things as his big sister. He loved it, and didn't seem to miss not having the ice cream inside. Tomorrow I am going to my 1st Zumba class and then to The Ultimate Play Zone for Zoey to run around! Jake and I really need a date night. Maybe I will go and call potential babysitters!

Weekly Weigh In: Week 5

Today's weight: 194.6   -3.8lbs

Sweet! This is my biggest weekly lose aside from my surgery week! It seems that when I weigh myself in the morning I am in the 194 area, but by bedtime I am usually up in the 195's.  The weight seemed to come off quickly in the first few days after my fill last Friday. The last 4 days I have stayed the same, but my dieting and exercising haven't been so stellar, so I have been happy to stay put where I am.

I am not feeling any restriction after the 1st fill. I am ok ( I think) with that because this next 4 weeks I will really need to rely on myself for making good food choices. This will be a big test of me. In a month I go back to school and will have students cooking all sorts of things, and I won't be able to work out whenever I want. I would really like to see the scale in the mid 180's before my next fill on Sept 14th. I am just gonna have to really map out everything I eat and find ways to get moving. 

This week I had major problems with grazing. It is something I have always done. When I don't know exactly what I am having for a meal, I sort of end up skipping the meal and eating bites here and there when the kids allow me to. Mapping out snacks for the day will really help me eliminate this.

My dinner last night on kids plate

Last night I ordered Salmon and steamed veggies from Outback and a kid's grilled chicken. My hubby gets 50%off, so it's pretty cheap and will be my meals for the next day. I used one of Zoey's kids plates to use smaller portions. That seems to help a lot. I did have about 1/3 c. mashed potatoes. Anyway, this meal made me really full! (maybe the band is working a bit)

I attempted to go to my first Zumba class this week, but the dang thing was cancelled. I found drop in classes on Zumba.com for only $5. I could have cried that it was cancelled, seriously. I was so excited to go. I had to go and do the elliptical at the gym instead. BORING! The guy who had to cancel the class was interested in my dance background and after a few emails wants to offer me a few classes to teach...prob hip hop. I would love that if it meant I had free use of a dance studio whenever I wanted! We will see what happens   with that. I am already supposed to start teaching at the nice gym uptown. Looks like God is making paths for me to get active!

I ended up working out with the help of my hubby on the Total Gym doing some weights at my house while I watched Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition ( love that show!) I then worked out Tues walking around my neighborhood and today I am heading to the gym and tomorrow I am getting my butt to another Zumba, and maybe recruiting a friend! Plus add in a few rounds of sex, and I think my working out has been decent this week. If I can just do better with eating, I might be able to shed a few more pounds for next week!

Oh...and I really want a piece of chocolate cake. How do I go about this? I know I should not deprive myself of things, but also shouldn't be eating desserts. How would you guys go about this? Do you have a small piece? Do you just forget it and eat a vegetable? When it comes to my TOM will I devour an entire cake if I don't satisfy it soon? HELP!

Ok....time to help Jake with the kids! Love you all! Have a great weekend!

Instructions For Secret Bandit Sign Up

In case you missed my post about secret bandits, catch yourself up HERE.It's basically Secret Santa for the banded. For those of you ladies who already said you were "in", here are the instructions to get all the info we will need so we can pick names and get you your SECRET BANDIT info! If you still wanna join, then follow the instructions below!

My hubby said he would help me organize the info and pick the names out of a hat so I won't really know anything...that way I can participate!

First...let's clarify what Secret Bandits will be.....

~ You will be given the name, blog address and mailing address of your "Secret Bandit" to send monthly motivators, but you won't know who is sending them to you.

~ You will be sending gifts that are unique to the banded lifestyle. Send things that will motivate or encourage during the place they are in the process. Don't send a purse, cause that has nothing to do be gastric banding, but a cute insolated lunch bag does!

~ Examples of gifts..... Copy of your favorite healthy recipes, favorite healthy cookbook, workout gear, water bottle, something to accessorize their new bodies, your fav protein bar, something that would make them feel beautiful, inspiring words, gift cards.... There are so many things. Just have fun with it. Don't take my rules too seriously!

~We will be sending motivators Aug- Dec. Motivators should be shipped BEFORE BEGINNING OF 4th WEEK of each month  (that's a mouthful!)


~ You should only buy/make gifts within your budget. Don't break the bank. If you send something that cost you $15 one month, maybe send something that cost you $3 the next, and maybe something that cost you nothing (except shipping) the next.... It is not a money competition. Remember.... "it's the thought that counts"- unless your sending a empty wrapper of their favorite candy....then.....you need to re-think.

~ Don't send candy, cupcakes, cookies, popcorn etc..... that would just be silly. (unless they are sugar-free, healthy version etc...)

~Feel free to post your special deliveries for blogland to see and show gratitude for your gifts!

~ Make a special post saying that you received your gift cause otherwise we will get nervous it didn't get there!

~ If you are having trouble with ideas or not getting your motivators let me know and I will look into it for you. Or Jake will.

OK>>>>>>> So what I need from you know is to send this info to this email address : JACOBETH83 at hotmail

Your Name:
Your Blogname:
Your Blog Address:
You Mailing Address:

That's it...or is it? If I am missing something or you have a question let me know. I will try to have Jake email everyone their names by early next week, so you have until SATURDAY NIGHT, JULY 30th to get me your info if you want to participate. This is open to everyone trying to loose weight or maintain weight!

I'm EXCITED!!!!!!

Happy Mommy

Ah..... the house is quiet. The babies are sleeping. Jake and I are just chillin on the bed. We had a rough Saturday and rough morning this morning with Zoey climbing out of her crib time and time again. She was just exhausted, but wouldn't just give in and sleep. It was hard for the whole family. She also was up at 6am in our rooms.

My friend on Facebook suggested a crib tent and after reading so many amazing reviews from families struggling with young toddlers climbing out of the crib and finding the crib tent a true life saver, I had to have one. I would like to hold Zoey off on the toddler bed until next Summer when she is 2 1/2 and can understand better and I have the summer to really work with her. Logan will be older than too and need less attention with bedtime (hopefully). I did get a $25 toddler bed on craigslist and am going to set it up in her room and try it out with naps and stuff and get her familiar with it so the transition will be smooth

Our Zoey Keeper-Inner

So, after church I stopped at Baby Depot praying it would be there and found it right away. (It wasn't at Walmart, Target, Babies R Us....dumb). I set it up the second I got home and withing 30 min, Zoey was passed out in her crib! She went right to bed too. What a brilliant contraption!

With all the craziness I haven't really been eating much at all which is ok since I was on liquids after my fill anyway. Today  I was on soft foods and almost experienced my first PD with a turkey meatball. I was rushing to get out the door for church and didn't chew enough and ......WALL BLOCK! I knew immediately I had made a mistake. I felt some pain for a few min and a little nausea but it all passed within 15 min.

We had company for dinner. It was my first time eating in front of people and my plate looked sooo empty compared to everyone! I made bbq pulled pork in the slow cooker, and Jake made rice and we steamed veggies. I didn't try the rice since everyone has put fear into me over rice!

I also made cookies with Zoey and prob had way too much of the dough, but I didn't have a cookie because of my dough munching earlier. Jake likes dessert on Sunday. I don't feel bad having a little taste of a dessert once a week. I used to have dessert most every night and candy during the day. So for me to do dessert 1 time a week is a huge NSV.

I also made chocolate covered frozen bananas. Yummmm. I am sure Zoey and Jake will eat them all in the next day or so. It was fun to try them and I had 1/2 one and it was good, but I wasn't in love, so I gave it to Jake to finish.

Looking forward to a good week! I am a happy mommy right now, in love with my hubby, my kids, my little life. God is good to me to bless me with so much. All of you blog ladies included!

I must go....Jake is waiting for me to finish my "blogging orgy" as he just called it. Silly skinny boys!

Weekly Weigh In: Week 4 & 1st Fill

                                 Week 4: 198.4 lbs  Total Loss: 13.6 lbs

I woke up feeling great yesterday. You know those mornings when you wake up and just know you lost weight. I just felt skinnier. I didn't have a huge loss, but 198.4 is still something. I am so glad to be over the onederland hump where I was going between 199 and 202 all week and I was grumpy about it if you all recall.

The dr office scale showed the same weight as my scale at home. Good to know it's accurate, or is it? A 195 at the dr. office would have been cooler but at least it wasn't a 201. The nurse stated I have lost 18 pounds. Does this lady know math? I guess she was calculating from my last dr. visit where I was 216, which was a freak day. I was 216 only that day and by that evening was back down to 212 and stayed there till surgery. That 216 helped me get qualified for the surgery, so in a way it was a blessing.

As for my first fill experience, it was pretty painless. My surgeon is not my favorite. He is a nice guy, but a busy guy. Not the type to sit down and get to know you. He always seems rushed. Oh well. He told me he was gonna put 5cc in my band. Whoa! That is about 1/2 my band right there. I was not feeling good about this, but he says he wants me to feel restriction and I really just had to take his word for it. He had me lie on the table. He put some of the numbing stuff in the port area. The needle didn't hurt at all. He felt for the port which is right next to my belly button. Once he got the syringe in there with the solution he put in all 5 cc's, kept the needle in my stomach, had me sit up and drink water right then. Everything seemed to go down ok, but felt a bit of tightness, so he took a bit out. So, total he put in 3cc. I am happy with that. I go back in about 6 weeks.

I did clear liquids yesterday....ended up just drinking crystal light. Today I am doing protein shakes and might try some homemade chicken noodle soup tonight.

I will prob jinx myself, but the scale this morning said 195.8. That was a shocker. We will see if it stick around for next Fri weigh in.

Thanks everyone for the comments from last nights episode. Zoey went to bed about 10pm. We had to try to put her down for her nap 6 times today, but is sleeping now. I think she is just so thrilled with her ability to climb over that crib wall! We are gonna try a few things to help with the issue of her crawling out of the crib. She is still so young (1 3/4) and I don't know if she will really understand that she needs to stay in her bed. I wish I could say, mommy will be right back after I put Logan to bed, but that doesn't mean anything to her yet. Zoey is a GREAT sleeper. Still takes 2 naps a day and sleeps 12ish hrs at night. We can just throw her in her bed and off to sleep she goes. It has only been this last week that has been challenging. Logan also has been a good sleeper (minus the needing to be rocked,even though I secretly love it cause it's the only time I get to cuddle him), but you can tell his teeth are really bugging him. I guess the saying is true, "When it rains, it pours".

I am gonna get my butt to the gym before I am too lazy to consider it!

Hope everyone has a great weekend! I am gonna post more about secret bandits next week, so look for that post! It will be so fun to get that going!

Life Is Over As We Know It...

... at least for me and Jake. Ok....sleep is over for us. Ok... that's not true either, but bedtime tonight is a killer! As some of you know, both my kids are teething. Most of you know putting them to bed is a marathon for me, especially when I have to do it alone. Kids 13.5 months apart....BAD IDEA STACEY!  And to think we were thinking of trying for #3 if I didn't qualify for surgery! BAD- er IDEA STACEY!

I knew this was bound to happen. After all I have a monkey for a toddler. I put her to bed and she obviously doesn't want to go down so she screams and screams. Since Logan is still up I figure I would give her 5 minutes to try and get herself together and then I would intercept with plan b, whole milk in a bottle (my pediatrician would kill me!).  So she is screaming and screaming and then all of a sudden she just stops. Weird....... And then...... She appears before my very eyes. She made her way out of the crib, out of her room, down the stairs and then to me. DAMAGE!

I let her play since Logan is still up anyway, but Logan is getting grumpy so I try again. I lock the gate at the top of the stairs, but a few minutes later she is crying at the gate. Me no likey my friends.

She takes off into the other room and I follow a few minutes later to find her in her high chair. It is a HIGH chair. I have no clue how she climbed her way into it. For a second I thought maybe there was a random stranger in the house assisting her in all these ninja moves. You think if I found him he would help me get the kids to bed? He could rob the house even.

At this point Logan has lost it, so I give Zoey an ice cream cone and put on Dora. (I hate being "that" parent, but I can't have her bursting through Logan's door. I need complete distraction and Ice Cream and Nick JR are key!) I know I have about 10 minutes before she will start screaming for me. I say a prayer as I rock Logan to sleep. If I can get him to sleep then I might have enough patience to wait out Zoey to exhaustion.

As we speak she is shoving her face in front of the screen saying "hi". So....hi from Zoey everyone.

Any mom's out there....I need all the advice in the world right now. How will I solve this problem? Should I get a toddler bed tomorrow?

My weekly weigh in and 1st fill post will just have to wait until tomorrow when I can sit here and watch Jake try to deal with this. The text I just got from him was " oh my gosh, sorry, but that's hilarious" . We will see how hilarious it is tomorrow Jake!! lol.

Ok, well the "boring the life out of her" strategy while I type this post doesn't seem to be working. Off to the next! Night blogland!

18, 198.8, 8/1

The scale said 198.8 today....my new lowest. It might not stick around, but I witnessed it, twice. I had to step on the scale 30 min later to challenge it to show me the number again. It did....good scale! I think my day of not caring paid off, and today I did more of the same, only counting protein. It was nice to get on the scale and be surprised instead of expecting it to show me a certain number!

I went to the gym today. Did I need to? Prob not. I ran after Zoey for a good 2 hrs this morning while holding Logan the whole time at this toddler play land (inside of course!) I was sweating. I went and did the elliptical anyway. I actually tried running at my old pace that I did in college. Hahaha. I accomplished 1 min.I hate feeling my belly plopping around and let's be honest, I was already winded. Maybe next month I will try the running again.

As I was leaving the gym the worker was like "See you August 1st" . I had to stop and think what day it was. Was tomorrow Aug 1st? No. Weird. "Uh, ok, probably". Then he was like "Just remember the date". Um.....creepy. Are you planning on gunning down the place? (I do live in Baltimore after all) Are you planning on overcharging me that day so I have to come in in furry? It was bizarre and I WON'T be going in Aug 1st just in case he IS some wack-o! 

I headed over to Target cause I really wanted to see if I had gone down a size since surgery. I haven't lost a ton of weight, but my clothes are looser and wanted to see. Yup.....smaller size I am. I fit really comfortably into size 18 jeans! I didn't buy them, but I am getting closer to loosing my maternity pants! lol. 

Tomorrow I have my 1st appt. Glad it is in the morning before I really eat anything. I had 1/2 serving angel hair pasta with crushed tomatoes and 1 turkey meatball for dinner. Lunch was 2 turkey meatballs, and breakfast was a protein shake. I don't think that would throw the scale too much but you never know!!

Well....another cheesy reality show is on and I must partake! Plus Zoey is still running around. I take turns with the child who won't sleep!

OH....and hey to any new followers! Thanks so much for supporting my blog!!!!! If it weren't for you I would just be blogging to myself....and my mom. lol.

Takin a Break (not from being a mommy though)

Today I decide to chill from all my craziness about dieting. I just tried to enjoy the day (if my baby would stop crying in the other room and just go.to.sleep. it would be so much more enjoyable for the both of us) Oh dang it. Let me go rock him some more.

-------------- (rock rock rock, bounce bounce, squirm, squirm, squirm) back in crib....crying 5 more min

------------- (walk in, he's crying, holding his bear, breaks my heart, out of the crib he goes for another round of play)

What do you mean it's bedtime?

------------ (10 min of play, 4 more oz of formula, bounce bounce bounce.....asleep....for now)

Teething. Sucks.



Where was I?

Ah... taking a break. Yeah, today I just kind of did my own thing. I was mindful of food, but I didn't track my calories and I took a break from working out and a break from the scale. I made a (as in 1) wheat pancake this morning cause I frikken wanted one and ended up sharing half with Zoey and Logan anyway.

Because we were too lazy to get out to the Ultimate Play Zone in time ( a kid's paradise), we decided to go to the mall and walk around. We had lunch. I had bourbon chicken (not breaded or fried) and steamed veggies and shared with the kids. Had no idea how many calories were in it and cheated in my "not giving a crap" and had to look it up on my phone. Only 433 calories and 19g protein and a little high on the sodium though. I ate half so I feel good about it. We did some window shopping after lunch. We are too poor to spend frivolously. One day. I did get Logan the cutest pair of straight legged distressed jeans from H&M. He is gonna look so cute in them when he is 12 month clothes. That paired with a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up or a polo. Can't wait!

We let Zoey out of the stroller to run free. I feel bad when she is bottled up in the house all day. She goes and gets her shoes 4 times a day, and demands you put them on her.  She is just a free little spirit. She smiles, and waves her arms all around as she runs....kinda like that episode of FRIENDS where phoebe and rachel are running in the park. (you must watch video below to get a visual and then encourage you all to run the same!) I am happy to let her run around since that is the reason we are there. People around us prob think we are crazy to let such a little munchkin on the loose. I think people are crazy that keep toddlers in a stroller for hours! So there!

Jake worked tonight so I was on my own for the marathon. (putting the kids to bed). It wasn't too bad. No blood, tears (on my part at least). After a week and a half of the both of them teething, the torture if dying down. Last week I was offering up my kids for sale on facebook, but today I really enjoyed their little personalities. I love hearing Zoey talking so much. It is a true reflection of the way I talk to hear the expressions she says. It definitely makes me realize how important my behavior is around her. She is really watching and absorbing everything I do.

Tomorrow I am gonna stick to really healthy choices. I am making homemade chicken noodle soup tonight in my beloved crockpot and baked turkey meatballs today. That along with my gag-me-now protein shake should make it a simple day tomorrow. It should be smooth sailing. It helps to have everything figured out the day before for me so there is no guess work. Friday is my 1st appt so if I get a fill I will be back to liquids for a bit which will be good too.

It feels nice to not care for a day. I can't deny I needed it. I've been in a funk lately and my house really reflects that! I am gonna go surprise Jake and get cleaning (after I watch Love in the Wild). I am sure he measures my love in the cleanliness of the house. lol. (Love Languages....read it if you haven't)

Happy Hump Day Everyone! Good luck with the heat!

Party Snob & Wanna Be Gym Whore

I delivered the dang cupcakes! All 175 of them decked out in leopard print bows and leopard print liners on my cupcake tower wrapped in leopard print ribbon (all requests of the customer) to the Bridal Shower on a Tuesday afternoon!!! For 200 people!! It was the most bizarre, tacky event I have ever witnessed.

I get there to find a 4 tier cake as well! The cake delivery guy said the cake was for 200 people! Do these people really like dessert or what??! (not to mention the fudge, strawberry shortcake I also saw as I was leaving)

I am kind of a party snob. I do wedding planning and have very high expectations for events like these. If you are gonna spend a butt load of money... have some class people!!!!!! I am very big on finding the least expensive way to make something look creative and expensive. It is so dang fun, but this makes it hard for me to not notice every detail at weddings or events. Don't get me wrong, A birthday party with cake, ice cream, ballons, streamers, water ballon toss, bouncy castle.....acceptable. A wedding for 200 people....prob not.

Ok...so picture this bridal shower with me. 8 tier cupcake tower head to toe in leopard print, 4 tier cake in leopard print, every table covered in leopard print wrapping paper(it was held at Carrabba's Italian Grill so this was completely unnecessary), every present wrapped in leopard print, every person wearing leopard print and the list goes on and on. Holy Moly. Just insane! I wish I took a picture.

I am done with cupcake for a good while. I just need a break from them. Last friday when I ate about 600 calories in cake and icing, the scale jumped from 199 to 201 within a few hrs and hasn't come down since. I almost started crying yesterday. The scale said 202. I have worked out 4 times the last week, and tracked all my calories. It doesn't make sense and I wish it did. I am taking this whole process seriously and I'm not having success. I am embarrassed to go into my surgeon on Fri and have only lost 10 pounds in 1 month.... 8 of which I lost the 1st week. He will never believe me that I am not cheating. And by cheating I mean not stuffing my face with a big bowl of spaghetti (ahh. that sounds so good!) Yes, I have had a few bites of Zoey's mac and cheese, a few licks of ice cream, a few crackers here and there. I had a bite of Jake's deep dish pizza (but seriously one bite!) And all these little cheats have been different days. My protein is 65-70g a day.

I am so proud of all of you losing weight, but so jealous it's not me. I could really use some stories to push me through this. I would even understand more if I was 4 months into the journey and not losing any weight, but to have lost only 10 pounds in the 1st month when it seems like weight was falling off everyone else.... it plain sucks.

I went to the gym yesterday cause it's too dang hot this week to walk around the neighborhood pushing a double stroller! I love being at the gym. I want to be there everyday! I want to be the gym whore that some of you ladies are. I was that whore in college. I was there every night, running my little-r butt off to Britney Spears (not a huge fan but the songs I had really pushed me).  I really hope that I can teach some hip hop classes this fall at the nicer gym so I can get a free membership there and then go to group fitness (zumba, spin, bodypump) and use the daycare. That would be a huge blessing!

Oh....just wanted to let everyone know that has been losing sleep...... the string coming out of my belly button came out (as I was sitting here typing this actually)

Ok...off to the gym. It's the only night my hubby is home and I can escape! I might have to actually attempt the total gym Jake got for free and set up in our already crowded sunroom. (My life is drowning in toys) I watched the infomercial last week and was pumped about it. Yeah, now....not so much.

So I Have This String...

coming out of my belly button. I know. I am a walking freak show. It's not a loose string. It is a string going into my stomach! It's about 1.5". I noticed it last week while I was picking at inspecting my surgery scab. I had my surgery solely through my belly button which is awesome. So as I was scratching my scab I felt something. "What is the world?" and all of a sudden I pull up this surgical string coming out of the side of my belly button. What is even weirder is that I can actually pull it and more comes out. It freaked me out so bad that I have just left it. My dr. appt is next week so I will just hold off till then. But seriously. Isn't that weird?! What in the world is it coming from? Creepy.

I think for now I will blame it on my turtle speed weight lose! Hey. It has to serve some purpose!

I WISH I SWORE!

I don't swear. This doesn't come in handy at the moment. I need to swear every word in the book right now! I am definitely saying them in my head. (God is shaking his head at me)  I called the lady who I am doing cupcakes for to see where her 2nd payment is and on the phone she says "I will just give you cash when I see you Tuesday". Uh....what? Tues?! What do you mean Tuesday? I have been slaving over cupcakes for the past 24 hrs because I thought the shower was TOMORROW! #@$%$@%#$^%^$%&$%&#$%#$!#! Dang it!

I even wrote on her invoice July 17th and send it to her through email, but did she look at it?!  NOOOOO. I am pretty pissed...mostly at myself for not double checking. I feel defeated.

But seriously...who has a wedding shower on a Tues afternoon? for 200 people!

Satan's last name is definitely CUPCAKES!

I'm going to pull the covers over my head for a bit! I will

Weekly Weigh in: Week 3 & BYOC

Ahhhh.... the scale was such a good boy today showing me numbers below 200. While it's only 199, it's still a pretty big milestone for anyone dieting. It is not a huge loss for the week. I have a feeling the pounds won't be melting off of me like some others but am hoping for a good 2 lbs a week as long as I am sticking to the plan and exercising! I think accepting that now will help with a lot of cursing at the scale in the upcoming weeks of weigh ins. I realize that I only need to lose 80 lbs total to be a healthy BMI of 24 and would even be happy at 150 lbs which is what I was when I got married and felt really good about myself. Today was the worst day dieting I've had since surgery, but def want to learn from this!!

Now onto BYOC!

1. Let’s do something crazy….I’m going to list the rainbow colors and you type the first FOOD item that pops into your head that symbolizes that color for you…..here’s mine:

Red – The homemade tomato sauce I was going to make yesterday and then the thought was gone cause a kid threw something or screamed something or something like that
Orange – The orange buttercream frosting I just put on cupcakes for a client. To be more specific she called it persimmon. I had no clue what she was talking about! Thank you google!!!!
Yellow – Pasta.... I miss it (the homemade tomato sauce was to cook my meatballs...not for pasta...sigh)
Green – Avacado and the Guac I made yesterday. Why do they have to brown so fast?! 
Blue – Blueberries....cause what other food is blue?? 
Purple – grapes
Brown - The meatballs I just made. This also is my 1st time cooking since the surgery. As a home ec teacher I get SOO sick of cooking. I am basically the worst home ec teacher ever! They are supposed to be cute and old and make everything from scratch. Not me. I love microwave steam bag veggies, frozen skillet meals, Rhodes frozen rolls! I am a mommy to 2 kids under 2. You think I have time to cook?! lol. 
Black – pepper...not a fan


2. What is on your kitchen table right now?

My hubby's computer, about 250 cupcakes stacked in boxes for clients (ugg. those darn cupcakes!), mail, random crayons from Zoey's spurts of coloring, my water bottle, and a bag of coupons Jake collects from the neighbors (He wants to be the next coupon KING, but it's more like a lot more paper taking up our house instead of super cheap products!)

3. What movie do you watch again and again and again? Not like what movie have you seen 5 times…but like what movie have you seen 30 times or more?

None that I have seen 30 times. Some favorites though are Romeo and Juliet, Walk in the Clouds, What About Bob?, and Burlesque is gonna have to be one of my new favs. Awesome singing, awesome dancing!
4. If Satan had a last name – what would it be?

Satan Cupcakes! It has been SO much harder making them than I thought it would be. It is such easy money. This week I made $700 from cupcakes. Its not like that every week of course, and we don't expect the orders, but it helps so much with my teacher salary (our district hasn't had a raise in 5 years!!). Anyway. I went into making them today prepared too. I had minty gum but forgot to replace it once the flavors went. I have to taste the batters and frostings to make sure they aren't crap, and then before I know it I am having more than a taste. Now I feel all gross and bloated. I didn't have nearly half the protein I needed today and the scale was back up to 201 tonight. I certainly didn't have 6,000 calories worth of cake and frosting. I prob didn't even have over 1200 calories total today, but I am still super disappointed in myself.  I really need to re-think this cupcake thing or develop a healthy relationship with making them! My dream of a bake shop is vanishing before my very eyes!


5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blogland and in real life.

Blogland- I haven't posted as much as I have wanted to this week, but have kept up on reading and today I have really appreciate some people's posts and wise words. Jacquie posted today "I am the only one in control of what goes into my mouth". That just hit home with me. Thanks Jacquie!


Real Life- I always hate cupcakes after having a busy week making cupcakes! Jake worked at night all week and having to put the little ones to bed on my own all week has caught up to me. The house is a mess and I don't want to clean it. I need to invite friends over or something so I have to clean it!  Tomorrow we are getting Chiptole. I look up all the nutritional info so I can get something below 500 calories and then take home half for dinner! Yum!!!!

My Trip

I think I've finally recovered from my trip. I refrain from calling it a vacation because going anywhere with babies is just plain work. I mean... the packing alone takes 2 days. Strollers, pack n plays, baby food, bottles, toddler forks, spoons, bowls, sippy cups, binkies, blankets, clothes, PJs, warm clothes just in case, diapers, formula, wipes, medicine just in case, thermometer, shoes, hats, sunscreen, entertainment for car, snacks for car, emergency bottle of milk for zoey in case she loses it, books.... must I go on. Don't even get me started on the night we went camping!!! lol. And please please don't remind me that we are flying across the country to see Jake's fam in Sept! I could cry just thinking of the plane ride. If I don't get some serious drugs for my kids to pass them out, I am pretty sure we will be banned from flying back home! (I know....only terrible mothers do that! If the shoe fit....) Did I mention how my pediatrician apologized to me for having 2 very highly active children? The dr who see's kids day in and out and has twins feels sorry for me. Did I also mention how Logan will most likely be starting to walk when we go and how Zoey is a really good screamer when she doesn't get her way?! I'm already sweating people!

Anyway.... The trip to NY was pretty good. The kids were up 4 times each the first night there. Each! Thankfully they slept pretty well the rest of the trip.

Logan and my Niece

We went for a family walk one night which was really nice to get some exercise as a family! The town I grew up just created miles and miles of walking/biking paths. What a great way to promote exercise for a whole community! I wish I had something like that here!

My mom hired a babysitter to watch both of my kids and my 4 year old niece so we could all go out to a nice dinner. Bless her heart! That babysitter got both my kids to bed and my niece without any problems!


This is the dinner I shared with my mom. I just had the salmon and it was really good!!

On Saturday I got to meet up with a friend of mine I haven't seen in a long time. In Dec 2009 I saw her when me and my high school girlfriends all got together. We are all close. They were all my bridesmaids. Her husband of a year had been diagnosed with cancer. She was also only a few months pregnant with their first baby. The next time I saw her was a few months later at his funeral. He never made it to meet his baby girl.It was devastating for everyone. She withdrew from everyone. I tried to reach out to her several times and it ended with a pretty brutal email from her asking me to stay out of her life. I kept my distance, but have texted often and tried to keep some communication there. I was really excited when I asked if she wanted to hang out with me and Zoey and her and her 1 year old daughter and she said yes. We had a really good talk about everything. She is in such a better place and she just loved Zoey and seeing our girls play. I am happy to have my friend back and to see her healing from her loss.

Saturday we went to the community lake I grew up going to. Zoey and Logan loved the water!

Saturday evening Jake and I headed up to Tanglewood for a romantic evening! It was pretty perfect weather and company. The thing with tanglewood is you get lawn tickets for $18 each and bring your blankets and picnic stuff and just sprawl out on their gorgeous lawn and wait for the concert to start. That night there was a chorus along with the Boston Symphony Orchestra and Jake and I just cuddled under our blanket and dozed in and out of sleep. It is just so beautiful and relaxing. We then drove back and stayed at my sister's apartment  ( she wasn't there) and we got to sleep children free for the night! It was a great night and although I wish we could take a 5 day vacation, 1 great night will have to do for now!

Tanglewood Lawn

Sunday we went to church with my parents, and then had a nice dinner and watched home movies for hours. My sister's boyfriend had yet to be initiated into the family with the classic home movies of us! Poor Jake has seen the same ones way too many times.

We  headed out Mon morning and made record time back home which was GREAT! That's where I got sick and we had to make 60 cupcakes and a cake that night for an event on Tues. We are still unpacked. The kids are both teething now. I have a big meeting with my bride tomorrow at her venues and still have 300 cupcakes to make for this weekend. I'm exhausted!! I thought summers for a teacher were supposed to be smooth sailing!

The scale is finally moving again and I'm back on my diet! I have been keeping up on everyone's blogs. You all are really inspirations to me! I love that you guys are so real and honest and supportive. Love it love it love it!

Well. Night everyone!!

Yup, I'm Alive, But Feeling So Dead

Hi fellow friends! I just wanted to pop in and say hi. Got back from our little tip to NY. Here are a few bullets to sum up some stuff before I can get into it in the next few days.

~ I am sick....hence the "feeling so dead". An hour after I got home it all came. This makes sense because traveling and being in someone else's house with little kids is double the work! I'm exhausted!

~ Had to make a lot of cupcakes and a cake tonight for an event tomorrow. Thank goodness Jake really helped me.

~ I would be fine not weighing myself for a while because I KNOW I didn't lose any weight o my trip

~ Tomorrow I am going to do a day of liquids to re-boost my diet

~ I didn't have any cake batter... yippeee. I did have some frosting.... bummer. It wasn't even worth it. It is a habit to lick it off my fingers before I wash my hands and had to seriously think about it!!

~ Logan cut his 1st tooth!

~ Zoey is really grumpy. She was an angel for my parents and once Jake and I got there she turned diva. She did have a 102 fever for a day in her defense.

~ Me and Jake went to hear the Boston Symphony Orchestra play at Tanglewood in Lenox MA. It was amazing and so relaxing! Highly recommended. We love going. I will write more about it. Look it up and treat yourself!!

~ We made it home in 4.5 hrs. AWESOME!

~ I'm not feeling very hungry, but also am not have much restriction at all.

~ I missed you all!

Keep up the good work ladies. Some of you are really rocking that scale!!

Weekly Weigh In #2 & BYOC

Weighed in today at 201 lbs. I am pretty happy about  that!  I am NY with my fam. Since this is my only vacation all year I let myself indulge a little today. I have been sticking to the advised mushies, but threw in a few french fries from Jake's plate today and had 2 bites of ice cream. We went out with my parents tonight for a fancy dinner and I had 1/2 crab cake and some salmon, mashed potatoes and humus. I tried a bite of everyone's desserts too. I don't feel guilty. I am glad I can eat these foods without being in pain or on the potty. (Side note...has anyone seen Elmo's Potty Time movie? It seems so weird to have a movie that talks about pee and poo the whole time!!)


This is my first BYOC....so here it goes...


If you were asked to symbolize yourself as an animal - which animal would you be?


I was asked this question once at a job interview. What weirdo's. They never called me back either. Anyhoo... I would have to say a cat. I am pretty independent, and can be pretty clever, but like to cuddle. 

2. Did you ever play an organized sport?


Well. I played soccer when I was in elementary school. I apparently wasn't very good because when they gave out awards at the end of the season I didn't get "Best defense" or "Fastest"...I got "Best Dressed on the Field"!!! Haha. Someone had to do it right?!
'
I played volleyball in middle school and was darn good. During a game my coach would mouth to me "cover her" about the other players on my team. 


3. When did you start shaving your legs?


I have no idea at all.


4. When you're in a crabby-pissy- want to stab everyone you see kind of mood- what do you do to get out of it or do you revel in it?


hmmmm. Well, I threw a cupcake at the wall once. That made me feel better. I usually send myself to my room, take a nap. A nap goes a long long way to to the grumpy mommy.

5. Summarize your week in blogland and real life?


Blogland is always a happy land! I am really loving all my comments from others and loving everyone's blogs.  In real life, this week was good. Weird not to have Zoey around. Having one kid is a BREEZE!!! Enjoying time in NY but will be happy to get home and back into the swing of things. Refuse to think about my summer drifting away and having to go back to work in Aug!
And...can you guys help me spread the word about Secret Bandits. I would like a few more girls to join on. There is a link to the post on the top of my blog. THANKSSS!

Adorable Blog Award Nomination!

Adorable  Andrea nominated me for my 1st award! Yippee! How fun! But seriously, the brown and pink don't match my color scheme. Haha....JK! I LOVE IT!

The Rules

1.     Thank the person who gave you this award and link back to them in your post

2.     Tell us 10 things about yourself

3.     Nominate your bloggers

4.     Contact these bloggers and let them know you have nominated them

10 things about me:

1.  I'm a mormon. (yes, we celebrate holidays, yes we are christian, yes polygamy is against our religion, no we don't have horns or tails)

2.   I've never had an alcoholic drink in my life (my hubby either)

3.   When I am really upset I just want an open dance studio, my music and room to dance it out

4.       I love being naked

5.       I want to have my own business soooo bad. (either a dance studio, or bakery)

6.       I am 100% happy in my marriage (I know it's rare, but I am dead serious!!)

7.       I am not a kid person. (I love my own to pieces, but please don't put me in a room full with toddlers and pre-schoolers)

8.       I plan weddings too. It is just something that has always come naturally. I have one bride now whose wedding is in Oct and I am helping her create everything from the invites, centerpieces, dessert bar, flowers...) I love being a part of it all and seeing it all come together on the big day. 

9.       I LOVE rainy days.

10.   I never lose in scrabble!

My nomination is Jessica. I love her blog and honesty and all her support! Thanks Jessica! (Sorry if you already have one of these bad boys!)

"If You Can Get It From My Kung-Fu Grip...

... then you can come and have it, okay?" (Meet The Parents)

I am a bit obsessed with the scale! Every few hrs I am on it and I have been driving myself nuts! I begged Jake to take it away from me and bring it with him to work. lol. . My weight was stalled for 4 days which was super frustrating! I have been eating 600 calories max, getting all my protein, vitamins, and exercise. I haven't cheated once. So to see nothing for 4 days and only being 2 weeks into the whole process was just annoying. I just kept getting on the scale thinking the numbers HAD to drop and I think yesterday I weighed myself about 20 times.  Thank goodness I am heading out of town tomorrow. I need some healthy distance between it, and next week I plan on having a much healthier relationship with my scale! I do feel skinnier and that counts for a lot for me!!

I have officially graduated  to mushies! I have had a few different things in the past few days such as tuna with lowfat mayo, scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese (don't worry! I made sure I was home and fully stocked with toliet paper!), and oatmeal. I am still sticking to protein shakes for breakfast and in between meals. I haven't really had any issues with hunger which is great. I mean....I do get hungry but once I have a little something I feel good.

Tomorrow we head for NY for a weekend with my fam and to get my Zoey who has been having a blast with my parents and my 4 year old niece. I miss her little face so much. She is such a spit fire! I will have to post a video of her one of these days. My parents are gonna watch both Zoey and Logan so Jake and I could get in a 1 day vacation! Whoopie... 1 day for the whole year! I know. It's pathetic, but we can't afford anything fancy anyway. We are also just so busy. Next week we have 3 cupcake orders totally over 300 cupcakes.

How in the world can you make cupcakes and diet you ask? I really have no clue, but am sure gonna try my best! Jake  will be making most of the frosting for me. I don't really crave cupcakes anymore, so I don't really think all my cupcakes will throw me too bad. I sometimes have to taste the batter and frosting to check flavors, but have gotten pretty good at just knowing. I might just have to come up with a low cal/ low sugar if that is even possible. If you knew what went into making a good frosting, I bet you wouldn't really wanna eat cupcakes/cake anymore!

Here are some pics of my cupcakes. I do a lot of weddings and bigger events. I have been cake decorating since 7th grade and cupcakes have always been my thing. Jake enjoys making them as well and we work well together. It's a fun little side business.

 

"I'm In"

Today Jake and I went duckpin bowling. It is the same as bowling but the pins and balls are smaller and you get three tries to get all the pins down instead of two. It was fun. We both won  a game and didn't have time for a tie breaker darn it!

While we were taking off our bowling shoes he checked his phone email. I gets all my blog comments sent to an email address that we use for our cupcake business, so he always gets to read through them.

He said, "Another comment on your blog."

I said, "What'd it say?"

"I'm in"

"Do you even read my blog?"

"Why do I have to read your blog when I am living it"

"Do you know what 'I'm in' means then?

"Noooo."

"Maybe I am asking all the others for a lesbian orgy"

"Then I'm in too"

lol. He wishes!!

Secret Bandits Anyone?

I thought maybe it would fun for some of us banded ladies to do like a Secret Santa type thing. I did this with my pregnancy message board and it was really fun. So here is what I was thinking....

~ Each girl send their Secret Bandit a "monthly motivator" for August, September, October, November & December. If the majority of you think this is too many months let me know and we can change it up.

~ "Monthly Motivators" should be small, fun gifts with motivating notes to help with the lapband process. No one should go broke! Examples for 1 month: your fav protein bar, a cool water bottle, a new picture frame for your new body, something you made, a few of your favorite recipe, a juicy magazine.... See. It should be just fun simple stuff.

~ Last month you can splurge a little if you want for your Secret Bandit, but don't go crazy and don't go broke!

~ Obviously don't tell your person who you are until the last month's gift.

~ Feel free to post your goodies in your blogs for all to see

If at least 10 ladies are interested and possibly 1 person interested in co-organizing this with me leave me a comment and I will make it happen. If you can copy and paste this in your blogs that would help me spread the word. Just have them stop by my blog and leave a comment or email me at eatpinkcupcakes@hotmail.com

No biggie if it doesn't happen. Just an idea!

Happy 4th of July ladies! I feel so blessed to live in this free country!

Eating and Exercise: Week 1

I wanted to share how I have been doing with my food and physical activity. Why? Well, for me to be more accountable to myself and to share with people who are also going through this or might be about to embark in this part of the journey.

This week I was on Full Liquid. I was allowed to have everything from the clear liquids and then add in soups, milk, protein shakes, yogurt. That is basically what I stuck to the whole week. At night I pre-measure out 2 cups of protein powder with milk and mix it with my kitchen aid hand mixer and put it in a pitcher and in the fridge for the next day. I also have huge water bottles and try to work through them during the day.

Most days looked like:

Breakfast
1 cup protein shake in morning

Lunch
Yogurt and possibly an ice pop (which Zoey and Logan beg for till I give it up) and a few more gulps of protein shake

Dinner
Finish off the last few gulps of the protein shake
Have a little bit of watered down soup (cream of chicken, brocc/cheese/ chicken noodle) For chicken noddle I do mostly the broth but did have some of the pasta but chewed it up till it was basically nothing

Yesterday I tried mashed potatoes thinned down with milk since Tues I start "Puree" stage...Not soft food, but Puree, just for a week, then on to soft foods. The mashed potatoes went down find yesterday (about 1/4 cup), but today I tried them again (1/2) and I swear they were stuck in my stomach for hours. I just felt super heavy all day because of it.

I did 1/4 c. sugar free/ fat free pudding with 2 T of sugar free cool whip and that was fine too.

Tonight I had about 1/4 c. clam chowder from Outback which I pureed and so far so good!

I am pretty content of this diet. I do get hungry, but I am not dying. I am excited to add some tuna and possibly try eggs again.

Total calories have been about 600, fat about 15g and protein if I get in both cups of protein shake is at least 70g.

The protein shakes are making me start to gag though. I have to plug my nose when I drink them. The taste is not terrible, but the thickness gets to me. I just have to look at it like I am taking medicine.

Exercise wise I haven been decently active. I have been walking everyday. Today I pushed myself a little father and longer, so I will just keep going from there.

Its been my TOM for quite some days now so the scale is all over. Hoping to see some good numbers next week!  We also head up to my hometown on Thurs to get Zoey and do some fun summer things. I am hoping I can find ways to stick to the plan. I guess the key will be to plan ahead!

Just want to Shout Out to everyone doing BOOBS! I am not gonna do it, but will be a cheerleader for you all. It sounds great and Chicago will be a blast. Maybe next year for me.

Happy 4th of July Friends!!

I Want A Divorce!

After church I am sitting on the computer, eating my 1/4 c. liquid mashed potatoes (I graduated myself to "purees" a day early) and Jake comes into the room and states "I lost 7 lbs".

'Cool honey. Since when?' (thinking it was from like last year)

"Like 4 days ago"

"Uh...excuse me?!"

'Yeah. I weighed myself like last week and I was 187 and then a few days ago I was 183 and now I am 179.' (He says all this like it is no big deal)

In my head I am thinking..... ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I had surgery and have been on liquids for 10 days and have basically lost the same amount! I know I haven't been cooking and we haven't been eating out, but he is a skinny boy anyway. 7 lbs in 4 days?? ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME?!

I could kill him. But then I wouldn't have him around, and I kinda like him. So I will just go take a nap and vent you all.

Find Your Own Scale! lol

                                           

I'm Not Gonna Lie....

    

...I'm having a great hair day! Jake took Logan with him to lunch with his boys and I took the opportunity to shower and wax and make myself  look like a girl!!

Nice hair, no make up

After having Zoey in Oct 09 (that delivery story is a crazy one and one for a future post!) my desire to get all dolled up decrease significantly. I could barely get a shower in. I never had time to really blow out my hair (I have crazy thick hair!) I was white and pasty from being preg in the summer and staying out of the sun. I was 187 when I got preg and stay right at 200 after the baby was born. I went back to work when Zoey was 6 weeks. My hubby worked at nights and was doing school full time too. Our closest family is 5 hrs away in upstate NY. There was just NO TIME for anything other than taking care of baby, eating, sleeping and working. I just gave up.

When Zoey was 6 months I took a pregnancy test by myself in the bathroom since I hadn't had my period in a while. After getting back a positive I started laughing in the bathroom. I could not even believe this was happening!! Zoey was only 6 months old! How could I have another baby on the way!!? I walked into my bedroom where my husband was laying on the bed. I just smiled at him and he said "NO WAY!" I didn't even tell him I was taking a test. He just could tell from my smile.

It was quite the whirlwind! I was 204 lbs at my first OB appt. I was 220 when he was born and lost all but 4 pounds by the 2nd week. I worked through my whole pregnancy. In fact I was there on my due date, but then got induced a few days later. Once Logan was born, I went back to work again after 6 weeks (couldn't afford to stay home longer with either baby). Jake was a SAHM dad in the day, working at night and still doing school full time. I worked in the day, was on my own at night, and I run a small cupcake business.........so ask you can see....there is no time for pedicures, hair trims, daily showers, nail painting.

Now with 2 kids, I find myself rarely caring how I look. I wear flip flop to school every day. I wear the same 6 outfits that fit. My hair is rarely styled. I hate going out and having to figure out what to wear and dreading taking off my comfy clothes. I just feel so gross being this big and don't see the point of getting all pretty when I don't feel pretty at all. I have never been a girl who didn't care.

My first year teaching (2007), I got best dressed. I wore heels and wedges and cute outfits and jewelry EVERYDAY! The girls all wanted to know where I got my clothes. It was so awesome to feel young and admired by my students. I was about 150 then...still overweight, but not obese yet.  I taught dance still and just had lot of energy.

In college I worked out daily. That helped me to really love myself. I loved to dress to impress. I had lots of boy admiree's. Jake fell for me hard and fast!! lol! (actually he took some convincing, but I know in my heart I was his from day 1!)
Now.... I just make my kids look cute. I buy them cute clothes. Zoey always has her hair done in public! (She is in NY right now with my mom and dad and my mom sent me a pic of her WITHOUT her hair done and I felt uncomfortable! Pathetic!) It is easy to keep the focus on them and off me. It's easy. They are cute. I am not.

But today......today I feel pretty! It feels so good. I am so ready to start MAKING time for myself, to workout and eat right and take a gosh darn shower. If Jake were home right now....I would so do him. :o)

I have been lucky to have a really good self esteem most of my life minus the past 2 years. I think I have a lot of good qualities and have talents that I truly love. I am a total type A personality, make friends pretty easy, and grew up really understanding what is important in life and being able to choose right from wrong. I feel lucky to have all of that. Now I am excited to lose weight, feel great, and be healthy for myself, my hubby and my kids!

anyhoo.... I swear this was gonna just be about my hair! On a totally different topic... how do I make a cute signature like some you guys have?

UPDATE: Just for you Jess I took a pic!! lol.